It didn't take me more than a minute to peg the Boston accent spuing out of the mouth of my friend , Michael the first time i met him. His accent fell from his mouth with much profanity. It reminded me of a cow chewing cud, really...there were "trademark" Bostonian words that kept coming up like "ovah heeah" and "wick-it nice." There's also something redeeming about a Boston accent, especially on a guy who's pointing at you with his cigar, head cocked and shaking around a rum and coke at the same time. Now that's classy.
Today I am still baffled by the deep southern accents of random people I have met in Tennessee. Yesterday while I was at a bluegrass festival, I ventured outside of all the action and stopped to chat with a few good ol' boys outside of a bar called the "Recreation Room." Swear to God one of them was wearing full bib overalls and had a piece of long grass jutting out from the side of his mouth. I was really only stopping to talk to them in an attempt to find the nearest ATM machine, but when I left I was more confused than when I showed up. The only thing I could understand in our short time together were the words "o'er thr." There were many hand gestures that confused me even more, and instead of smiling and saying thanks I just kind of tensed up and gave them the solid thumbs up and a smile. I really didn't know what else to do. I also never found that ATM machine. I'm convinced they were sending me to a slaughter house or a cross burning. kidding, kidding, kidding....kinda.
I'm not real clear on the means by which animals talk, but they seem to be screaming at me lately. Call me crazy, but I have made it my own personal duty to successfully remove all at-risk snapping turtles from the roads near where I live. You may think there are only a handful, but today alone I helped two. The first one needed assistance getting back into his little ditch near a cattail filled pond. When I attempted to help the second one I soon realized he needed no help. He was dead. I thought about building him a small raft of twigs ( which I would set a flame) and floating him out onto the small pond by the roadside for a proper viking turtle funeral, but instead I left him where he ly. Point being, I felt pretty proud about helping those moss covered dinosaur-esque heathens out of the way of a barrage of Peterbilts and Mack trucks. With the feeling of doing justice to the animal kingdom for the day I cruised back home in my little Honda. That's when it happened. Whap. A freakin' bird flew into my windshield and narrowly escaped certain death when at the last minute he tipped his wings up and made a defensive maneuver to avoid hitting me all together. I glanced into my rear view mirror to see him flip up belly over back a couple of times before coming to rest on the white painted shoulder line of the road. "Ah hell, i better go back and take a picture of him too." When I got back to him and got close enough to take his mug shot I saw that he was still very much alive, but stunned. He blinked about 47 times in the 10 seconds that I sat staring at him. I'm guessing he was morse-coding to me "What the F#*! are you and why are you staring at me with that shiny thing in your big hand and hey! wait?! aren't you the same a-hole that hit me 3 minutes ago?!" I'm just guessin' that's what he was thinkin,' but I could be wayy off. Regardless, I took his photo and helped him to a nearby fence post where I guessed his chances of getting eatin' by a rat snake would be far less than on the roadside where he had been laying.
I absolutley love reading your posts! It's like reading a book you can't put down. I look so forward to each new entry. Your description of the guy with the overalls and grass in his mouth is hilarious!
ReplyDeleteI also love your pics.! My favorite this week is the bird on the fence. Love ya and miss you so much S.B.